This is the post that I know God told me to write, and I have really, really tried to negotiate my way out of. But, if even one person reads this and is somehow helped by my testimony- it’s all worth it.
If you don’t want to know deeply personal things about me, and how I came to where I am in life now- then please stop reading now. :0)
I don’t really know where to even start with all of this….
There is a quote that I have written onto the first page in all of my journals, and notebooks for church- and it came from the side page of my Women’s Study Bible. When I first read this quote- it spoke to my heart. My wounded, broken heart at the time. This is what it says…
“Do not cheat thy heart and tell her, “Grief will pass away, Hope for fairer times in the future, and forget today”… tell her if you will, that sorrow need not come in vain: Tell her that the lesson taught her far outweighs the pain.”
I didn’t write down the author in my notebook, but when I read those words my heart spoke them. It’s been about 7 years since I saw those words- and they still affect me the same way.
I was not raised in a Christian home. My parents fought a lot, and eventually divorced when I was 12. My Grandma and my Aunt took my sister and I to church every week. I was saved at about age 8 at church camp one summer. I attended church, but I didn’t really know the Bible like I do now- what it says about God’s love for me, and His grace. Fast forward about 4 years, and my picture-perfect family was imploding. Divorce does things to kids that I don’t even have words to describe. But, the word that comes to mind first is Insecurity. When the world as you know it unravels- you question everything that ever was. My Grandma, who was my world as a child- became very sick- she had 3 quadruple bypass surgeries over a span of about 8 years and then died suddenly when I was only 14. My Grandma, Ruth, instilled a sense of self-worth in me that I thought could never be shaken. Every Friday when I went to spend the night with her, she would greet me at the door singing, “Here she comes….Miss America…” She told me I was gorgeous, smart, and capable of anything. And, she told me often. She wanted the very best for my sister and I. She treated us like Princesses~ she wanted us to have the very best. When I was 12, she bought us something called US Videotel, which was basically the first computer- and it had chat rooms called “Yak Chat”. My friends and I talked for hours with other area kids. This is also where I met someone posing to be much younger- who turned out to be 21. ( I was 13) This man is now serving a 20 year sentence for aggravated sexual assault of a child. (me). {This is also why you’ll never see my children’s faces on my blog or website} My home life at the time was falling apart, my grandma was very sick- and this predator took advantage of all of those things. He stole my childhood, destroyed my self-confidence, self-worth and left me a very broken child dealing with adult issues. At 14, I found out I was pregnant by him. He threatened me, and told me not to tell anyone. He picked me up early one saturday morning, drove me to an abortion clinic in Houston, and forced me to have an abortion. He even lied to them about what my name was, and how old I was. I came home that afternoon, and told no one. Six months later, my grandma died, and my mom was a single-mom struggling to make ends meet. I didn’t tell anyone what happened until over 4 years later. I finally told my Aunt and Sister one night after a prayer meeting they took me to. I was so ashamed. SO. VERY. ASHAMED. I had carried the weight of all for so long, without showing anyone how hurt, destroyed, and scared I really was inside. I put on a front for everyone- I was involved in my High School, made A’s, had been working from the age of 15… no one knew how dark, broken, and ashamed I was inside. My sister and Aunt told me to file a police report, and I didn’t. I blamed myself. It was my fault.
I found myself in a marriage at age 20, that ended when my daughter was only 9 months old. I fought to stay married. I did NOT want my child to experience divorce, and the earth shattering effects that come with it. I tried, and tried to stay married. But, I finally was left without a choice. I could not afford an attorney. I worked full time, and I went to the Law Library in Downtown Houston and researched and drew up my own divorce papers. The first time I went to court, the Judge told me the papers were wrong. I cried all the way back to the Law Library determined to do this myself. I had gotten myself into this mess, and I would get myself out- one way or another. I had to wait another 60 days, but I was finally granted a divorce- and I did it myself.
Going through a divorce is awful. It feels like death. FAILURE is the theme word. I made it a point to take Michaela to church every Sunday. I wanted her to be equipped in a way I never was. To know Christ at an early age- and I was (and still am) determined to protect her from the hurts of this world.
Fast forward 2 years of single parenthood… my daughter was almost 3.
About 2 months before I met my wonderful husband, Colby, I was sitting at a table with my sister (and her police officer hubby) eating Thanksgiving dinner at my moms. I have no idea how, but the conversation turned to the events from so long ago, and my sister begged me to file charges against that man. I was then 23, and I told her that it was over, and a long time ago, and I didn’t want to drag it up. She called me one week later to tell me that she had looked him up on the Texas Sex Offender database, and that he had been convicted of sexual assault of a 16 year old (he was over 30 when he did this) a couple of years before and was a registered sex offender. WHAM. Add about 3 million pounds of guilt to the baggage I was allready carrying. What if…. what if I had reported this sooner, would she have been spared this nightmare? He had only received probation for what he had done to her. Can you imagine how worthless that would make her feel? To not even get justice for the offense committed against her? The decision was made. I would finally tell someone my story.
In December I turned 24, and a month later I met Colby. I was called to go to downtown houston to the Children’s division of the Sex Crimes Unit. Ya’ll…there is an entire building dedicated to child victims of sex crimes for the city of Houston. The thought that there are so many abused children just.in.this.city makes me sick, angry, and shocked all at once. I had to sit in front of a camera and relive the whole thing for the detective. It was in many ways worse than the offense itself. Shame. Major, heavy loads of shame to have to say those things out loud. To make matters worse, Colby and I had just begun dating and I had to tell him all of this within a month of knowing him because I was being prepared for court by the D.A, and I was a big bawling mess. I will never, ever, forget the compassion in his eyes when I told him those horrible things about myself and my past. He didn’t walk away from me like I had imagined he would. He held my hand, and let me cry, looked me in the eye, and told me I had nothing to be ashamed of. And, he meant it.
Because this predator plead not guilty, this trial actually dragged on for the first 3 years of our marriage. There were many nights I cried into Colby’s chest about this whole thing and he held me. Finally, after almost 4 years- when I was pregnant with our second son Crewe, and we were living in Missouri, the trial was finally held. That man was convicted. He was sentenced. He was given 20 years in prision. He will have to serve 80% of that sentence because it was a crime against a child. Aggravated Sexual Assault of a child. I was serving a life sentence without hope of parole.
It’s been a long road to where we are now, but I wouldn’t have changed any of it along the way because it’s made me who I am. Every single dark road I’ve walked has given me compassion for the hurting, and a deep desire to find purpose for my life, and to help other hurting women however I can.
Altar’d began with a coffee table and a pair of end tables from my neighbor’s garage sale. They had a great potential, but they were just ugly. I had the wild ideas to paint everything aqua, but it was really Colby who stood beside me the whole time whispering in my ear that I can do this, and that what I make is pretty, and that people really do like it, and think it’s worth their hard earned money. I’ve wanted to quit many times when I was discouraged~but Colby has been there to remind me that I can do this. He is my best friend, and has never stopped believing in me. He writes an amazing blog every day that incourages so many. I want to be like him when I grow up.
I look back at my life and I’m even more amazed at God’s grace. Our Pastor always said “Grace is not getting what you deserve”. I know what I deserve~ but Jesus spread his arms wide and was nailed to a cross, beaten, and crucified for each and every one of my sins. By his blood I am washed clean as snow. Isaiah 1:18 says,“Though your sins are like scarlet,I will make them as white as snow.” and every single thing that the enemy used to try to destroy my life, God uses for His glory. Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose”.
We have based Altar’d on a scripture that is as real to me as it can be..
Isaiah 61:3
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
One year ago, I lost my Dad at only 53yrs old to a pulmonary embolism following a quadruple bypass. Losing my Dad at such a young age has really put a LOT into perspective for me. I am compelled to make the most of every day I am given. I have a new compassion for strangers- you never know what someone else is going through at the exact moment your path crosses theirs. What do I want to be remembered for when my life is over? How can I use these experiences in my life to glorify God? I need to remind myself daily that “The lesson taught her far outweighs the pain”….
I am no longer ashamed of my past. (As evident in the fact that I am putting it on the internet for the world to see). I refuse to let another day go by that I don’t allow God to be glorified in me and all that I have walked through.
I don’t know where you are in life as you read my testimony- but know this;
The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
I wish I had a million copies of this book “Redeeming Love” by Francine Rivers…it’s a perfect example of God’s endless love for us. {Go buy, or borrow it NOW! trust me!}
There is nothing in your past that God cannot use for His Glory, if you will let Him.
Do not allow the enemy to whisper in your ear that you are not worthy of God’s love, grace, and forgiveness because you did _______. Or, like me __________,_______________,_______________………
It’s all a big. fat.lie.
I have been terrified my whole life to tell people these things about myself- afraid of their reactions. I’m not listening to that voice another minute!
God can and will use you, if you’ll allow him to, and He’ll throw away all of your ugly, ripped up, leaky baggage and make you whole again in Him.
I’ve recently given my testimony at a Women’s Event~
No longer ashamed.,
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68 Responses to Unashamed- My Testimony
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you are such a beautiful and brave person. I have tears streaming down my face with a heart full of love for you. I know what it is like to be broken. Your grandma was right, you are a beautiful person and are now blessed with a beautiful family.
What an amazing testimony!!! Best of luck for you and yours…I'm from UC…didn't know you when you lived here but love your blog!!!
What a wonderful testimony. I know how hard it is to walk through trials and remember that they make you stronger. Thank you for the courage to share this.
Thank you all SO much…I'm so glad I was obedient (finally) and posted this.
Thoughtfully~ We lived in Union City from Feb. 2006, to Christmas Eve 2007. Colby was the Director of EVS at Baptist UC. I really hope someday we will move back.
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. You are a beautiful, amazing, and strong person. I join you in thanking God for the gift of your husband Colby in your life. When I was reading your story I was struck at how He taught you about his unconditional love through Colby's love, and at just the PERFECT time in your life. God is good, ALL the time!!! Praise Him!
Your furniture is beautiful……..just like your soul.
Such a brave young woman to share your story~ May a thousand souls be set free through your obedience
Wow!! I love to hear stories like this!!! You have been brave and very obedient in telling your story and I am certain you will be blessed because of it. Here is a quote for you…you may have already read this but I believe you will one day be able to say this:
'When I stand before God at the end of my life I hope that I would not have a bit of talent left and could say "I used everthing You gave me"'
Erma Bombeck
Blessings to you!!!
Your Crosby Auction Buddy,
Mandy
You are amazing. And God has a plan for you to prosper. We as SURVIVORS of abuse must not be ashamed… for we are the victors in the end and God has a purpose for all things when we trust in Him.
Ann Marie~ Thank you so much. I agree with you about Colby…God knew exactly what I needed and sent him to me at the perfect moment.
Thank You all for being so kind and encouraging to me. It feels amazing to not live in fear of what others would think another day. :0)
Mandy~ I love that quote- and Erma Bombeck- she was one of my grandma's favorites. We need to come to auction again! It was fun!
Rubies and Courage (love your name!) Thank you, and I agree!
It's so heartwarming to read the comments Mandie, it must make you feel so loved. I firmly believe that God is going to use you in a powerfull way, I can see your desire to please him in your eyes. You've been an inspiration to me in the short time I've known you and I know you will be to countless others! Thank you!!
Mandie,
I love you…you know this! Your website spoke to me from the first time I found it, and now we are friends! Im so thankful to have you in my life. You truly are a giving, loving, beautiful person..inside and out. Your sweet, sweet, family is testimony to that! Your boys are amazing, Mica is a sweet heart, and every time Colby looks at you..its as if he is seeing you for the first time. We are not defined by our past. God is speaking through you.
What an annointed testimony! Thank you for sharing. May the Lord richly bless you for your obedience!
Hallelujah sister! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I am glad to see someone that "has been there" sharing her experience. May GOD continue to bless you and your ministry. I look forward to meeting you one day on the streets of glory!
Oh Mandie… This has left me in tears!! What an amazing woman you have become & I am blessed by your testimony. My heart aches, because your story is such an eye opener. We truly never know what a person is facing (or faced)& I just want the opportunity to be there for everyone. I walked past you many times in HS & thought you had the most gorgeous smile & spirit (I was an incredibly inserure, lost teenager), I never would've thought you faced the stuggles you did. You amaze me!
Our God is glorius & if he never gives us more than we can handle, he must know how strong you are!
Thank you for being a light for the Lord, Mandie & Thank you for sharing your story.
James 1: 2-4 is one of my favorite verses; however, I feel it is one of the most difficult to live by. You have done a beautiful job perservering!
May God continue to pour his blessings upon you & your sweet family.
Tiffany, I was so lost in High school too- I just hid it well. I was a freshman when all of that happened- it was horrible. Thank you for your comment, and encouragment- I really appreciate it.
Good News~ Colby has accepted an English Teaching position at Sam Rayburn for 10/11 school year. How weird that he'll be at our old school!
Shelly & Lynn- I am thanking God for both of you right now- it was only a few months ago that I was praying for friends- real, true, hillarious friends. I love you both!
You certainly did hide it well. I'm amazed & encouraged by your strength then & now!
That is GREAT news that Colby accepted the position at Sam Rayburn!! A friend of mine is an AP there & he enjoys it. Praying for the best!
Love you too girl! Funny how I was praying for the same…I'm so happy God brought us together!
Wow… i found your blog on another one and continue to look at weekly and I am truly touched by your testimony and you are so strong for sharing your story. You are a true inspiration for myself and family and what i need to aspire to be ! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am a Tennessee girl myself. I went to UT Martin which is really close to Union City and now live in Collierville, TN with my family.
I am truly touched by your testimony and you are an amazing woman for sharing your deepest feelings. I am a Tennessee girl myself .. i went to UT Martin and now live in Collierville, TN with my beautiful family of five and you have reminded me that everyday is a gift from God and i love your blog and even more so now !
thank YOU !
Don't know you, and only found your blog today – love this before and after stuff, I have so many yard sale and trash picked or flea market pieces that can be made new again with just a little paint, and I am looking for ideas.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. You are not alone, many have crosses to bear, pasts that we are afraid to talk about – and hearing your story may help other people to be stronger, to stand up for themselves.
(I have the Woman's Study Bible too. Love it!)
Thank you so much for your testimony. I've been quietly following you for a few weeks now, and I've enjoyed your blog immensely. I love the humor you infuse into your down-to-earth writing. I am a Christian, and I have had a very sheltered, safe, happy life. I have had to go through *none* of what you've had to deal with in your life. It's so easy for me to forget that others hurt so much, and it's so hard for me to be sensitive to that. Thank you so much for being proof that God can work in the life on anyone who is willing to accept him. God bless you and your family!
Mandie, this was so beautiful! I am so proud of you (and I don't even know you) for opening your heart to all of us. God surely is pleased, and you are bringing glory to Him in all of this. Blessings to you and your family!
Dear Mandie,
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I know that it spoke directly to my heart and I am positive that it spoke to many others as well.
In so many ways I have lived your life and walked down many of the same roads in identical shoes.
Praise Him that you know His love for you.
I struggled and was held captive by the enemy because of the sexual abuse I lived through, failed marriage, WAY to many bad decisions and choices to mention. I was living in the pits of hell.
But Glory to God, HE gave me a sister that prayed me straight out of the pits of hell. (it took a while because I am stubborn but God is so patient with us)
I now know, thanks to my sisters persistant love and prayer, His word and Neil McClendon (a fellow texan of yours)I am free and that is no longer who I am and it no longer defines me, I am no longer held in bondage!!!
Neil taught me that "I sing from the bleachers, I love much because I am loved much and I can forgive much because I have been forgiven much!"
Our testimony is who we are, He allowed certain things to happen in order for us to have the ability to speak to others and be "tuned in" to hear their hearts speak even when they have no words to say because of bondage, brokenness or shame.
I am PROUD of you!
You were able to do something I have not done. Ironically my offender lives in Texas,(I am in Tennessee). I did look on the attached website for his name and it was not there. I was holding my breath…because I knew what I would have to do next if it was.
I love what you are doing! I love that HE has blessed you! And, thank you for sharing your testimony with us!!!
What a beautiful testimony. I lost my Mom very suddenly too, and I know how hard that can be to lose a loved one when you're not expecting it. I found your blog through The Nesting Place and have loved looking at all of your furniture. I live nearby you too…..in Baytown.
Thank you for your testimony. The quote you used at the top was so pretty I had to look it up. It's from a poem called "Friend Sorrow" by Adelaide A. Procter.
Thank you for the your brave testimony.
You are an amazing woman, so very wise at such a young age. Your furniture is just beatiful, your passion and God's grace shows in your work. Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful and amazing ideas.
Tears were quietly sliding down my cheeks as I read your life stories. It just amazes me how God uses us. Ordinary, every day people…He uses us (if we'll let Him) to share His love and that's just what you've done here on your blog. Thank you for sharing your story….it's so encouraging to know that through the love and forgiveness of our Father, we can move on and live a happy life…no matter how hard the enemy tries to keep us defeated and depressed!! Keep on keeping on! I thank God for sending Colby to you and for the life that you've made together. God Bless you and your family!
Thank you for sharing your testimony! Your openness really was a blessing to my heart.
Your Sister in Christ,
Tanya (Tucson AZ)
Thank you for sharing. I loved 'Redeeming Love' and read it in about a day.
Dear Mandy,
Thank you for your courageous testimony & for sharing Christ's healing in your life. Forgiving & forgiveness toward self & those who have abused our innosense can only come through the power of His attonement. May you grow & be strengthened in His love.
WOW!!!You hit such a cord with me. I am also a sex abuse survivor. It DOES strip you of EVERYTHING!!! BUT… time and the love of Jesus Christ does heal some of the wounds. Thank you for being so raw and open. May you always know that you are a daughter of a KING!!!And that he wants us all to have happiness and joy. May you be blessed with all that is good in this world.
@5price4ever~ Thank you so much. I am so sorry that you've walked that road too- but I am so happy to hear that you are living life happily, and most importantly that you know HIM. Thank you for encouraging me~ God has used this testimony and brings people here on the exact day I need to be reminded to trust Him. Thank you!
What a amazing testimony! I am glad that you wrote this. You can help a lot of people. Thank for sharing. God Bless You!
Bonnie
Mandie,
I stumbled upon your blog clearly by accident and so glad that I did. I was first so impressed by your talent but as I dug deeper into your blog and read your testimony I was so very glad that I kept reading! Thank you so much for sharing you are a very brave woman! Thank you for being such an inspiration! I will be bookmarking your blog and will continue to visit quite frequently! Many many blessings to you and your family!
Thank you all for leaving me little notes of encouragment, you are all amazing women who have really blessed my life. For all of you who have walked similar roads, I pray for your healing, and your hearts and minds to be restored in HIM. There are millions and millions of women with similar pasts, and I'm just glad that we can be real, and lean on one another for support when we need it. For so long I thought if I just had the white picket fence in life no one would be able to see through that to the broken me. I've gotten older (and wiser I hope) and realized that putting up fronts won't fix the problems inside, and that only Christ can wash away the junk and heal the wounds. I love you all, thank you for your words.
Mandie – I loved reading your testimony. It reminded me of our heart to heart convos when you were volunteering. I remember you telling me about Redeeming Love and me reading it and being amazed. I remember us both wanting to find our "Michael Hosea" and when you found Colby we knew he was yours. I am so thankful for the days you adn I got to spend together and I am so happy for you and Colby and your happily ever after, even if it has been rough – you guys have each other. Love you both!
Jennifer
I can't even tell you how I got here… Except that Jesus Himself must have been clicking my mouse. I actually just bought your eBook that I saw advertised on some other blog, and then clicked through to your blog to see "My Testimony". I love a good testimony (who doesn't?), so I thought I'd read.
Wow.
THANK YOU for being so brave, and for your obedience in writing this out for the world to know. I am just sitting here praising Jesus. For being our healer. For coming to set us free from the bonds of sin. Our own sin, and the sins that have been committed against us.
Though my story is very different than yours, and maybe doesn't even seem as bad, I know that everyone hurts from something. Everyone hurts from someone. Everyone needs healing and no one can pull themselves out from under the pressure of sins that have been piled up. We're in over our heads, we humans.
Praise God that Jesus came to this world, and lived and died and rose, so that we could have PEACE. So that we could have abundant life and so that we could glorify Him and enjoy Him in the midst of this crazy, upside-down, unfair, and just plain evil, world.
My pain is fresh. It's only a few weeks old. But God is so faithful. He has not given me more than I can handle (though a few months ago I would have said that the very thing I'm dealing with right now, would have been more than I could handle). He has equipped me for this path so diligently and precisely, and He is performing miracles before my eyes. Literally unfolding the answer to my most fervent prayers, that I've been praying for over 6 years.
I am thankful for the rain, because I would have never known our God in the intimate and real ways that I now know Him. I would have never known His faithfulness, His fervent desire for me to experience peace like a literal RIVER in the midst of a terrible storm. I would have never known Jesus as my HEALER.
Thank you for sharing, and thank you for taking the time to read through my comment. I obviously needed to get that out today… I guess that's why I'm here?
I'll get on to that eBook now
Huge blessings!
Aly
what a beautiful story. your honesty and vulnerability is so refreshing and admirable. i pray that God would continue to use your story to impact the lives of other women that have gone through similar battles. i pray that people would continue to "stumble upon" your blog and click that little "my testimony" tab. thank you for sharing your heart.
Mandie,
Your testimony truly touched me. I too, broke free from a violent marriage and lost my father unexpectedly. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and pray that you are able to be a witness and ministry to many people. God bless your life, family, and business.
Thanks for sharing your testimony! It is so ironic that I stumbled across this blog and who you are…because I actually know Colby from growing up, but haven't talked to him in years! I was looking for some furniture on craigslist and ran across your website, then your blog. Please tell Colby that Kristy Chain-Rudine says "Hello!", and congratulations on your beautiful family and your wonderful home-based business! Praise the Lord!
amazing… your testimony is amazing…. i too share similar struggles – only my husband and one other person truly knows my pain… reading this testimony speaks volumns to me.
~ thank you for speaking the truth!!
-Missy
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I have also had many stuggles and trials. I know that God is going to use my life to bring women to HIM.
I have been thinking about this for the past 2 years. How Do YOU ,Lord want me to work for you? I think of that alot.
Sunday morning First Choice was at church. Looking for people to volenteer and God was speaking to me to gonout there and share with people girls and woman my past. So that i can share His Love with them.
I have never read your blog before. This morning God lead me to it. To this post. Thank you. It is truly amazing how God uses things like a blog post to solidify what he is telling us to do.
I too would never want to change my past because it made me who i am today.
Mandie I just read your beautiful testimony and am very touched by your story. I am sad that you felt ashamed of your life when you sound like such a beautiful person. I had a grandma exactly like yours who made my life seem right out of a vacation postcard, and I needed her because I had a hateful mother. I lost my father when he was 59 and he was my funny best friend. Last year my husband who I had been happily married to for 18 years committed suicide in the shed of our Tucson rental house. He was 44 and had struggled for years with severe despression he inherited from his mom. The last thing he said to me was …youre so pretty, I love you. Im in Austin now visiting my son and daughter, and its funny how I found your blog. I was looking at Ralph Lauren glaze colors… my husband loved and encouraged my creative side and a year ago I honestly had no idea I would be repurposing furniture. Im getting ready to open a store in my home town of Des Moines in a few months. Im calling it Outspoken. Im gladI found your blog. Im not religious but truly spiritual and aware and connected with those around me. I feel like we are friends, I hope I didnt bore you too bad. visit me sometime at glittervision.blogspot or outspoken-interiors.blogspot. take care, julie
Thank you for being a vessel! I really loved reading your testimony. So real, so raw, such a perfect example of God's love/healing/comfort, etc. Thank you and may His blessings continue to rain up on you.
Wow. I "stumbled" across your furniture and blog today. I kept reading and browsing just in awe of how good an artist you are. As I kept looking I was happily shocked to see you are literally down the street. I am in Friendswood off of 2351. Such a small world. I enjoyed reading your testimony though it is shocking to hear what you've been through. Thank you for sharing and God Bless you on your continued work. You are truly an artist. I am just beginning restoring furniture. Alot to learn, but it's fun.
Hi! I'm new. It is no accident I came across your blog today by way of Nesting Place. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It truly ministered to me. And thank you for the reminder that God's grace is sufficient. God bless you and your family.
Isn't it just like God to turn something evil into good. He is so amazing, and so are you. God bless you for the lives you empower so positively through your honesty, vulnerability, and faith.
Blessings to you.
Fondly, Tami
http://www.thisandthatfromtami.blogspot.com
Good for you. I’m not of your religious persuasion, but I’m glad you wrote this. It was the right thing for you to do, and it reminded me that everyone, no matter how serene and fortunate in appearance, has an invisible battle they’re fighting. May we all forgive each other.
Two simple words….Thank you.
My ex-husband, Aaron has some serious anger management problems. Sometimes he gets so angry that he destroys our property. I am so thankful that there are people out there like Altar’d Designs to save the day. You folks do great work!
I love stories of Redemption! He takes our ugly things and makes them beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
Mandie… I usually do not get on the internet and just search around but for some reason today I decided to look at your website. I was actually wanting to see if you had any furniture that I could look at to give me some ideal on how I want you to do my table. I read your testimony, then I watched the video of you giving your testimony at the Women’s Event. I could not quit crying. What a beautiful, strong, couragoues person you are. I know this is God’s way of working on me. I need to tell you this. Not many people know, but my sister Amy was molested when she was a child. She never told anyone. She carried this with her until she was in her 40′s. She finally told me and my two other sisters but made us promise not to tell our parents. She was’nt sure how my Dad would react and was scared he might harm this person. The day the man died (which was several years later) is the day we told our parents. Amy spent her life trying to keep this secret, until she just could not handle it anymore. She felt ashamed, guilty, scared and worthless. She eventually got addicted to prescription drugs. When Dad (your Uncle Herbert by marriage) had his stroke Amy thought she could handle the situation by taking enough drugs to get her through this and it was too many and she overdosed. Losing Dad and Amy within eight days of each other was really hard. I know God was protecting each of them from the pain. I have been carrying alot of guilt. Could I have done more to have helped her? Just recently the daughter of the man that molested my sister showed up at my front door. She knew her dad had done something to one of us girls when we were young. He had molested her too. And was told by her mother to keep quite. I have so many mixed feelings. But if I had not had God in my life I would not have made it this far. I feel a little weak right now but I know my God is holding me tight. After reading your testimony it just made me realize (once again) that things happen in life that we don’t always understand but as long as you have Jesus Christ and you totally trust in the Lord you can get through anything. Thank you so much Mandie for being such a beautiful, strong and courgeous woman. I know now why I thought my old table needed to be altard. God works in mysterious ways!
June, Thank you so much for sharing this with me. All my life, I kept the secret from everyone because I thought I was the only one. If the only reason God had me put this online was to show every woman who has been through this that they are not alone- it’s all worth it. :0) I am blessed to be related to you. :0)
I am so glad I found your blog! God is so Awesome! Thank you for sharing your life story. I will be set up @ Larry’s Old Time Trade Days in Winnie Oct 7, 8 & 9 on the “D” row spaces 15~17 if you happen to go shop I would LOVE to meet you!
Continued Blessings to you,
Llara “Ya~Ya” Lira
I love Winnie! I tried to sell there one time about 2 years ago when I was first getting started and didn’t sell a thing! And, I was silly enough to do it in August…HOT! I’ll stop by and say HI next weekend!
God does not choose those that are equiped, he equips those He chooses. He has chosen you and Its wonderful! I hadprayed and asked God after He started to heal me from my abused past what he wanted from my and why he did it I sat down and was reading John and this scripture lept off the page literally, John 15:16 . It was so wonderful to me I was so excited to see that God would use me because I had felt so worthless and unusable . It says in Revelations we overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our Testimony! Praise Jesus and is prefect love and forgivness. Thank you for your testimony and ebooks:) I started out refinishing furniture because I could not afford new, now I am pursuing to do it it help fill in our finances!~ P.S. I started to heal emotionally after I delt with my hatred and bitterness towards the family member that hurt me. I am so free now!
Dear Mandy,
I just happened onto your blog out of the sheer interest and seeking inspiration on painting furniture and using old pieces and bringing them back to life. Little did I know I would be inspired in a totally different way! I just wanted to thank you for sharing your testimony, it is a very brave thing to do….to put your heart out there for everyone to see!
You’ve inspired me to think a little harder about my own issues and to be sure, anyone who might be fighting a battle in their heart will be inspired by your testimony. We need to learn to listen to what God is telling us…I’m still trying to figure it out. But I will try to listen harder. Thank you again!
Best wishes, Siggie
I am a fan of yours on facebook but have never been to this site before today. We have such a similar history, I am not a victim of abuse but am broken in other ways. I too have a business rescuing forgotten furniture and making it new again. I know the search for purpose, and what it feels like to find it and want to quit every other day because “I’m not good enough”. The last two years have been the hardest we’ve ever been through, and when I started my business, it has been my outlet, and has sort of rescued us. There are days when I think….this is silly..I’m not selling as well as I should be…I’m not creative enough. I’ve been asking for a spark to my faith, or for my own burning bush…and stumbled upon your testimony. Every part of your story touched my heart and my soul and I want to say thank you for being so brave and putting your story out there. You never know who may be needing that to heal scars in their own soul. God bless you and your business!
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Hi Mandie! I found your blog today just surfing the net and playing around on Pinterest. Anyway, I was moved to read your testimony which you’ve so boldly posted and Praise God for the work He has done in your life! Clearly he has pulled you from the muck and mire and into His glorious light! How amazing1 I don’t know you but I’m cheering for you and your story – since it’s one more obvious example of His existence and His healing power.
I am so very moved to read how much your story has touched so many others who were bold enough to comment. How many more out there do not yet have the courage to comment? How many out there haven’t found your story yet? Makes my heart break, but then we remember, He will NEVER run out of healing power!! Thank you for being faithful to answering His call to share your story. It is clear that it is touching and helping so many with similar pasts! I’m so glad that while fishing around for bookcase redos, I stumbled upon your God story. Awesome. Praise God for his faithfulness and thanks for posting your story. I pray you continue to be faithful to that call and continue to share it boldly. It truly is evidence of ashes to beauty.
(ps – Redeeming Love is the best.book.ever.)
Happy holidays dear lady!
Wow, Mandie!
I am truly blessed by your story. As a range of thoughts and emotions of the past whirl around inside me, I can only think how grateful I am for the power of the Holy Spirit. I only came to Christ four years ago, but the incredible healing and restoration that God has brought me in that short period of time, can only be described as miraculous. Like you, I look back and am absolutely amazed by His GRACE and MERCY. It is so inspiring to me to see you follow your passion for rebirthing furniture (!!) and glorify our almighty God in the process. Wow. Wow. Wow. It also warms my heart to know that you have a Godly man like Colby by your side. I too, have a “Colby” that has so gracefully walked beside me and my “ugly, ripped up and leaky baggage.” I always wondered what I did to deserve him. I now know that he was a gift from God to help me see in myself what others covered up with their evil and brokeness. You are a powerful testimony to others, and I pray that you are blessed by all of the Fruits of the Spirit as you continue on your journey of Restoration, both in your soul, and in what you do. So glad I found your site. God works in the most wonderous ways!
I really don’t know what to say that has not already been said in the many comments on this post so far. You are an amazing woman of God and I can only hope that I will learn to have the sort of selfless transparency about my life that you have about yours in the name of sharing God’s love with others. Thank you.
Thank you Joy for leaving this comment to encourage me. It’s very hard to lay all of my imperfections out there, but I know that allowing God to be glorified in all that I’ve walked through is the most important thing. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing God’s grace in your life. I believe that we are allowed to go through difficult things in our lives in order to share and help others by sharing what God has done for us. Otherwise, there was no purpose in the difficulty. How beautiful that God brought such a wonderful man into your life to love and accept you just as you are……beautiful inside and out.
[...] If you’d like to, you can read my Testimony here, or watch the video below. Last April, I was invited by Shelley Neel of Life Community Church in [...]
Mandie, you have an amazing story and like others I am touched by your honesty. Many of us carry burdens of guilt throughout our lives and like you have been saved by the grace of our Jesus Christ. You have taken your shame and turned it into beauty by the things that your create.
May you be blessed throughout your life. You have a lovely family and a wonderful husband. You deserve them.
I love your blog and appreciate the time and care you put into it for us.